January 13th, 2015



Years have come and gone. This is my journal - A doesn't even read it (to my knowledge). So my thoughts are my own. My dreams are my own and shared with very few since social networking has moved on. Here I can articulate thoughts that I wouldn't dream of posting on FB.

I have a loving husband, kids and grandkids. I have a good job and the work I do I find meaningful and valued. I have some resources with which I can make some choices as I careen towards my sixth decade of my existence.

I stay involved with GCN as I think the organization and the people that are connected with it are making a positive impact in the world. I just attended the 11th annual conference held in this city with northwards of 1300 people attending. Parents and family members of LGBTQ* folks are stepping up and working for acceptance and healing from the culture wars. Churches and evangelical/fundamentalist organizations are having to grapple and cope with the culture that is swiftly bypassing them and the tone, if not the substance, is changing. The substance will follow just as it's had to do with past issues of slavery and the role of women in culture and the church. Ever so slowly. Rome wasn't built in a day. It's good to be engaged with initiatives that are facilitating that change, even though there are parties who are impatient for it to happen and question the methods and strategies we follow. Change is the constant. As generations come and go, life will become better for LGBTQ* people. I have hope and optimism on that score.

A and I are now faced with the big choice of where to move to and (we expect) to live out our lives. It looks to be the Pacific Northwest - probably Washington state. I hope we can make an exploratory trip in Feb or Mar to determine where we might want to settle. The process (preparing the house to sell, selling it, moving, finding a place to live and making further plans) will be stressful and full of conflict. I've confidence that our relationship is strong enough to navigate it well.

My 3 children have launched well - hard to believe my oldest will be 38 this year. My prayers and hopes for my middle child is to find a partner in life who is worthy.

A's kids are a bit more of a mixed bag and I ponder how we can be helpful with them. The youngest is the stressor at the moment and our decision to sell our house and move is a catalyst for changes in his life. I hope a positive catalyst but we don't have a lot of influence there.

I'm ready for a winding down of the volume of activity in my life - a movement towards simplicity and opportunity for investing energy in relationships and people above all. I'd welcome a place to have a garden and space to exercise creativity - write, compose, perform, and share. I wish to stay inquisitive and continue to have new experiences.

These are the things I value.

Oh, and if my relationship with my children, especially my oldest, could improve, I would die happy.